Father, in Jesus name, I come before you with a heavy and weary heart. So much has happened in my life in the past few months that life has just seemed like one, dark, gray, blur. It has been the most intense and trying season I have ever walked through. There were several nights spent crying my eyes out begging for your mighty hand to move and ease my suffering to take me away from all the darkness and evils of this world. Several nights spent in total confusion and depression not knowing which way to turn. At the time the whole ordeal seemed like nothing but pure chaos but now that I can stand back and look again, now that I have a different perspective I can so clearly see your hand at work in all of it. All the depression all of the worry was totally my own doing. A shameful momentary lack of faith and trust in your sovereignty. Father I take great comfort in knowing that my days were beautifully and meticulously plotted long before my feet ever hit the ground. I take comfort in knowing that no matter what comes my way that nothing happens outside your sovereign will and that ALL THINGS are worked together for my good and your glory. I love you lord with every fiber of my being, I love you. You are my whole world and the desire of my heart is to bring you the highest of praise. I trust in you lord. You are my shelter from the winds and waves of life. When the tempest crashes all around me I find rest in awe of who you are. Have mercy on me great king when fear and doubt comes my way. Who am I to ever question your motives? Who am I, your creation, crafted by the work of your hands to ever lose sight of your majesty. I am humbled to my knees in total adoration of you walk with you lord all of my days wherever you may lead. I love you lord, the only one who truly loves me, provides for me and makes clear my path. May your will ever be done. Have your way! In Jesus name, Amen!

It is with a humble soul and a gracious heart that I ask you all to please keep my family in your deepest of prayers. It breaks my heart to see them bound in the chains of sin. They have afflictions ranging from depression, drug addiction, self centered lifestyles to total depraved indifference to anyone else other than themselves. I have tried many times to share the gospel and be a light to them but they truly live out what the scriptures say when it says “they loved darkness more than light”. They were all in church at one point and things were great then they turned their backs on The Lord and slid right back to their old ways and worse. I am the only Christian surrounded by a house full of lost, lonely and broken people. I also have more than one life threatening illnesses that I am currently battling and I don’t know how much longer I’ll be around. I pray from the depths of my soul that they turn to Christ in repentance and faith because once I finish my race and go home to be with my King the only way they will ever see me again is if they pick up their crosses and follow Jesus. Despite all the darkness, struggle and trials surrounding me I will push forward ever faithful, being the hands and feet of our savior and a light in the darkness in the desperate hope that my family is saved. They have a choice to make, we all do. I have made mine and they have apparently made theirs. I trust in The Lord and his sovereignty. I know that Jesus is on his throne and that everything happens according to his will. Lord let your will be done. In Jesus name,

Soli Deo Gloria,

Living In A Den Of Wolves

The past 10 months have been the hardest days of my life. It seemed like it was just one hardship and struggle after another after another. I entered into a pretty dark and lonely state of depression in which several nights were spent in tears begging God to take me out of this life, to just end it so that I might find rest apart from the realities of this broken and sinful world. In my family I am the only Christian surrounded by some of the most hateful, negative, oppressive people you can imagine. Trying to to live a life of holiness and service to God among people who’s lives are consumed by darkness is exhausting. Every second of every day is a constant battle to keep my eyes on Jesus and focused on the race he has marked out before me. These people so desperately need Jesus. They all suffer from a variety of sins ranging from drug addictions and self centered lifestyles to out right depravity and indifference to anyone’s lives but their own. I have been through more in the past few months than most people go through in their entire lives. Christ is the only comfort and peace I find in life. In him I can always find peace, hope, purpose and acceptance no matter what circumstance I find myself in. He has truly redeemed my life from the darkness and I wouldn’t be standing here today had he not called my name and saved my soul. I ask that you all please keep me in your deepest of prayers as I faithfully look to Christ and endure this season of my life. I may not know what tomorrow holds but I surly take comfort in the fact that I know who holds tomorrow. Whatever you guys might be facing in life know that every single detail, every single moment of our lives are father filtered. Nothing happens outside his sovereign will. Know that all things are being worked together for our good and his glory. That doesn’t mean things will be easy or or care free by any means just that all things, ALL THINGS, even the things the enemy meant to harm us God takes and uses for his glory. Praying for you all and please keep me in prayer, in Jesus name!

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.”

– Psalm‬ ‭46‬:‭1-3‬ NIV

If you give the devil an inch he will take a mile. Be vigilant of the people and situations you allow into your life. The darkness has many faces, many voices and is always one step behind you.

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

– James‬ ‭1‬:‭2-4‬ ESV

Matthew 7:21-23: “I Never Knew You”

21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one whodoes the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

Luke 18:9-14: The Pharisee and the Tax Collector

He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: 10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed[a] thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ 13 But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”